FAREWELL ROUTE 24

“Leo itabidi umepanda hii ya mbele kaa uko na haraka,” Omosh tells cheerfully me pointing at a Citi Hoppa. The Kenya Bus Service he was helping fill up only had two people, while the Citi Hopa had about two seats to be filled. I was running late. You simply can’t be late for your last day at work. It’s uncouth. So I went ahead and boarded the other bus.

Have you ever given thought to the kind of impact the route you use has had on your life? Well, I have, but today I thought about it kabisa! Matatu Chronicles was birthed while I was using this route. Two and a half years…

Omosh is the first person I greet every morning, after my family and building caretaker. His work ethics has always impressed me, a perfect example of “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might!” He is so good at his job, that commuters plying the Bomas-Karen route just look out for him or his voice and blindly (lol) board the bus he is in-charge of. He then pockets fifty shillings and moves on to the next bus. Often, he is able to fill up to three buses before the Citi Hoppa Company fills one. To be honest though, I have always preferred the Citi Hoppa, the drivers and conductors don’t just abandon you or hand you over to a 14 seater where your knees suffer from… never mind. Story for another day; but somehow we are still bewitched by Omosh’s smile and courtesy. That said, The Kenya Bus Service (KBS) drivers and conductors should change their ways. They are doing Omosh’s efforts a great disservice. 

A Kenya Bus Service Bus :D Photo: Courtesy 

Then there are the passengers.  They have made great subjects for the numerous rants and raves on this blog.  Unwillingly of course :D They almost feel like family. There is this tall guy who I have always found intriguing, but was too much of a coward to say hello to.  He is very tall dark and handsome, and we have lots in common. Like we’d both hit the roof if we didn’t bend just a little. Maybe the perfect pick up line would be “Hey, do you believe just how limited the leg room on these PSVs are?” and we would hit it off. Note to self: Boldness is a virtue.

Its not just the guys, there is this lady who always waits till we are past Hardy Police Station then fishes out fresh mandazis. The bus is usually half empty and so the aroma wafts freely, no unnecessary barriers. It is not her fault. She is not aware of my #FlatTummyQuest and how her wheat goodness just sets me back.  I let her do it. Its not like I can report her to the Kenya Bus Service, “Hello, does your company have a policy against people who cause mental, physical and aromatic trauma to other passengers? Oh yeah? I’d like to report someone.”

Since I am almost always the last person to alight, I have made it my business to know everyone’s stop. That way, if they sleep or forget, I can alert the conductor on their behalf, seriously.  

The conductors. These ones have been mostly pleasant, you know, except for when they see I am wearing white and then go ahead and transfer me to a filthy 14-seater matatu just because there are only five of us left in the bus. Or that one who always scolds me for paying my fare using a thousand shillings note, “Sasa unataka nitoe wapi change hii asubuhi yote? Ona hizi one thousand zote mumenipea! Mtangoja!” I would then give him that look that holds as many trophies as Serena Williams has for sending my antagonists to land of no return. I see the female conductors’ well done hairs, darkened nails and fingers and wonder when this job became so ‘normal’ for ladies, and yet they do it so well! They do not complain, they let both of your feet land on the ground before they hit the bus and yell, “Tukienda!” Yes, we need more of them! Part time job anyone?

Citi Hoppa busses Photo: Courtesy 

Who else has memorised all the billboards along their route? Noticed the infrastructural changes on the roads? Oh, do tell; did you meet Mr. or Mrs. right on your commute? How many books have you completed? How far along are you on that candy crush game everyone is playing? (PS: I have never played it, and I am not judging you…but what is so fascinating about crushing candy?) I remember reading The Secret Life of Bees, The Abortionist Daughter and a host of other books including A Thousand Splendid Suns most recently.

The scenery. Inspiring. I see all those posh houses everyday. I must work harder. #MoneyGoals. I have also come to the conclusion that when  finally build that house, there must be a basketball court.

Why am I telling you all this? It is not making sense (this is where you tell me, “Of course it is!”) I will not use this route everyday anymore. The chronicles might change a tad bit, not too much though. I just won’t be updating my Facebook status with a check in of ‘Karen Country Club’ while the bus rushes past the establishment. Change is real, and it is happening. I’ll let you know when I get another route that I can be faithful to for a while. Until then, enjoy your route, it may have more lessons and prompts than you have cared to look out for!