Heheee! Kenyans! We have been caught! Tunapenda vya bwerere. We love free things oh! But there is nothing wrong with that if it won't leave you with small small embarrassment at the end.
Haya. Story story, story come.
I am running very late for a meeting that was to begin at 11 am. Bado kidogo ifike saa sita. Kencom Bus Stage is a buzz of activities as usual. Buses from different companies queue up to ferry the hundreds of Nairobians who always seem to be going somewhere important. Sio Kenyatta Market, Nairobi Hospital, Ngong Road, Yaya, Kawangware and my favorite, mwisho wa gari.
There was a time mtu aliniibia siri. Ati Citi Hoppa always fills up faster than Double M and KBS. I can't recall the reason, but I always remember this when I am running late, like I am today. Mimi huyo kwa Citi Hoppa. The only problem with these buses, yep, you guessed right - legroom. Aki mimi hakuna gari mi hutoshea except Double M. Yaani. God bless the manufacturers and management. Anyway, I find a window seat and settle as I wait for it to fill up we go. We are soon on our way.
Around the same time the conductor starts collecting the fare, this very well dressed guy stands up and begins talking. I am busy drafting apology texts so I miss his introduction. He looks like a preacher. I will catch up with the sermon in a bit. Kidogo kidogo I hear him say, "What's wrong with you people? Yaani I am giving you something for free and you are just looking at me? Kwani ninafanya makosa?"
Eh. He has me at attention with the word free. What is this people are being given? Books. What kind of books? Mathematics text books for primary and high school kids. Ah. I don't need those. You guy, this is the thing that saved me from fully cooked embarrassment. Si people are told to lift their hands if they want books! You state the level and you are given. Si people are lifting their hands like we are good mannered kids of Braeburn, Brookside Brookhouse and the ilk.
My neighbor turns to me and asks, "Yaani this man woke up, wore this beautiful suit, akachomeka na jua, jumping from one matatu to another to come give out free books? Hana kazi ya kufanya?" I respond with an exaggerated "by the waaaaay..." Meanwhile, the guy is there telling people how educating a child in Kenya is hard and if someone like him authors a Math book, we should not deny our children a chance at a simplified instruction book. Eh. I contemplate taking for my neighbour's kids. Maybe this gesture will get us talking like nyumba kumi initiative suggested. But hata sijui wako class?
A message enters my phone. I respond. I look up again. Now we are being given envelopes to keep the books. This guy thought of everything! Ama which NGO is funding him? Yaani philanthropy plus plus. #ForTheChildren. "Don't take an envelop if you don't have a book," he says with a chuckle. After the dishing out of envelopes, he lectures people again about spending time with their children teaching and solving equations together.
A woman, who I can only see her blonde hair and the age mottled dark hands holding the headrest of the seat infront, asks if he has an English text book.
"Mimi nilipita tu hesabu. Kwa hivyo ya Kingereza itakuwa ngumu kidogo. I don't have those ones. Wee chukua ile niko nayo."
I am trying not to judge a book by its cover at this point but, buda! Anyway. Let me leave this good samaritan alone. Me what have I done for humanity today?
Looks like there are no more takers. Guy closes the charity shop and says, "Sasa kama umechukua kitabu utaniachia tu mia ndio na mimi niendelee na kazi."
For a moment there, people think he is just asking for donations and giving is optional. Wapi? Guy is charging them a hundred bob for the books! Haha! I must admit, Kiswahili ya huyu jamaa na Maths ziko in the same Whatsapp group. Smooth! Me I start laughing! Unbelievable! Yaani this guy has studied the psychology of Kenyans. How we hardly ever buy or trust local products (except Chapa Mandashi baking powder, matchboxes and KDF. Of which even matchboxes we don't quite trust. I recently saw a post on Facebook where someone had counted the contents of a box only to find that there were 55 sticks out of the stipulated 60). But if given for free, our standards fly out of the window as fast as roaches scramble when a bulb is switched on in the middle of the night.
Murmuring can be heard in the bus. People are holding on to the books. Guy is insisting. One man decides he will not feel shame on me in this era of social media trending posts and pays for his. Two more follow suit. Others return. Embarrassment is so thick in the air you can cut a piece and serve with vanilla ice-cream, ndio ipoeshe aibu. The akorino lady infront of me seems devastated. Yaani nimecheswo?! She gives hers back. Mtu anarudisha na bahasha imagine! Angalau angewacha bahasha we console ourselves with.
The blonde-haired mama is now lamenting how he is unfair. You know she was the first one to lift her hand aki? She had even packed her book in her bag vizuuri. Lakini even this guy, how could he hoodwink woman old enough to be his mother? He broke her heart. I am sure she is still interceding for him. "Oh, may the Lord forgive our children." Come to think of it, this man and his kind must be the reason why a heat wave is slowly melting our skins. Sahi we are almost down to the third layer, hypodermis. Let us all just join Pastor Ng'ang'a in the wilderness and pray for this nation.
But man must eat, isn't it? Nairobi will show me things.
Team #BuyKenyaBuildKenya.
PS: Halafu hii tabia muache. Ni kabaya!
Lazima msome gazeti kwa matatu? Mkifika nayo home habari kwa ufupi itakuwa imerefuka? Tumefinyana na wewe umekazana na kufungua pages.
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