"Excuse me sir...you have a bedbug on your hat." True story.
The man seated infront of me today seemed oblivious to the fact that he had given a bedbug a free ride from home. I really wanted to give him a shoulder tap and tell him, "Excuse me sir...you have a bedbug on your hat."I dared not. How does one even start? Okay, maybe the bedbug wasn't his. Maybe someone else had transported it and abandoned the bug on the sometimes filthy matatu seats. Poor bug had probably been across town for the past few days! I cringed when it decided to get into the hat, right through into his hair! I still couldn't tell him. Would you?
Reminds me of a day I was admiring some lady's handbag. Then I saw it. A cockroach. Gliding through the glossy surface that was the bag. Women power. I had to tell her. but women can be drama queens, eh?! She jumps hysterically and shouts at the conductor,"Shukisha!"
Conductor: Mathe hapa hakuna stage
Woman: Shukisha! Nimesema nishukishe! Hii matatu ni uchafu tu! Mende tu! Labda hata chawa hazikosi!
You should have seen the other passengers fidget in their seats. Everyone now noticed how dusty, filthy the seat they sat on was. Yuck! Thats why I don't wear mini skirts if I am going to use a matatu. :D I regretted secretly laughing at another lady who had covered her seat with her scarf before she sat. She seemed immune to the disgust we were all feeling then. I secretly hoped the dramatic woman had carried all the roaches and whatever other bugs were lucking around. I emptied my bag as soon as I got to work and gave it a thorough shake!
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Just the other day, on my way to work, a man walked into the matatu and sat next to me. Unfortunately, the paranoia that comes with the matatu bombings, muggings etc has found an almost permanent place in me. I always scrutinize my seat mate. From the size of his pockets, the kind of bag he/she is carrying, if they got a mean mugging face and where they place their hands. THEY MUST ALWAYS BE WITHIN SIGHT. Needless to say, I always end up hugging my handbag tightly to my chest. So, there was nothing unusual with the man, until he decided to yawn! Mayoo! Gasp! It is kinda alright for your mouth to stink in the evening, you know, but at 7am? No! The window refused to open and so I had to sit there and practice by breath holding skills every few seconds as he yawned here and there. Eh! He must've had a long night, I suppose!
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People be breathing all sorts of air that the windows get misty. Always insist on an open window. TB ina tiba :) na ni kufungua dirisha kwa mat!
PS: Next time you get into a matatu and you have to stand and hold the javelin(u know, the bar at the roof of the bus?yes. Javelin), please make sure you didn't have githeri or madondo for lunch. Yes? Thank you!
