Why I am not buying a car...now

Let me tell you a story! A story of how I had worn a mini skirt and a sleeveless sweater, then the weather changed from very sunny to...sigh...you know, cold and gloomy. At 5pm, the clouds were hanging low. My colleague has a car, so she kindly offered me a lift till Westlands so I could rush home before it pours. Long story short, by the time I was getting out of her car, I had wished for a car of my own about 30 times...and that thought lasted the rest of the night.

But today as I was headed to work, I realized that I don't want that car yet. Strange, I know. Here's why:

1. Plug Sleep Deficit

If you are like me, then, you'll understand this. Whether I sleep early or late, I never get enough sleep. I could take sleep as a punishment! Kwanza that saying ati "Early to bed, early to rise" doesn't work for me. If it were not for the 1 hour matatu rides, I'd probably be sleeping on the job, but alas! As soon as I pay the conductor, I head to slumberland...of course clutching my handbag very tightly.
I met a friend recently and (he paid my fare...lol!) he told me his son had just turned one. He narrated how for this one year, sleep had been a luxury. He and his wife took turns and even those were not enough. Guess what filled up that deficit? Matatus!

2. Your prince/princess charming may be waiting

I remember watching the wedding show some time back and listening to this couple giving the tale of their meeting. It was 6pm, in a matatu going home. The guy had been sitting one seat in-front of the lady. Suddenly, a car appeared and the driver had to brake. This threw everyone forward, others clutching at the seats to steady themselves. As the guy was settling back, he saw the most beautiful fingers he had ever seen (lol) and decided he must speak to the owner, and the rest was history. See? Ya'll single ladies and dudes....you never know! Plus matatus usually have some real eye candy...just for looking, even if you have your prince charming and his horse locked up in your barn ;)

3. Just have a look outside

When driving yourself, you have to FOCUS! Eye on the road. You hardly ever notice the beautiful scenery and when you try to, the drivers behind you honk like there's no tomorrow and startle you back to reality. There is no for daydreaming! You don't notice all the sweet dettol kids billboard ads that bring a smile to my face every time or the many deodorant ads along Langata road-what's up with that?
Many use a particular road everyday and fail to see the most beautiful or horrible things. Like how Langata cemetery is fast filling up and that soon we might have to cremate our loved ones. Granted, you may be chauffeured when you get that car, but by then you'll be feeling so important that your windows will be tinted and closed and you will be replying to your mail and all the other important stuff important people do on their ipads.

4. You get to sit back left and be chauffeured

This is pretty simple. Your dreams are valid...but until they are a reality, how about you pay someone 50 bob or less or slightly more to chauffeur and open the door for you? Ah ah! Who doesn't want that? Of course you have to get used to the car rushing off before you sit down or before you get off completely...but thats a small price to pay...yes? Yes. Now you can sit back and do number 1-3.

5. When is the last time you read a book?

Today. I read it on my way to work. In a matatu. I friend tells me she can't remember the last time she read a book, in hardcover or on kindle because, ni kuendesha nitaendesha gari ama ni kusoma nitasoma...and she's sad about it, because she was once an avid reader. Well, she tried to read before bed but she was so tired from driving and staying in traffic. Besides, she's married now. There are other things people do in bed and before sleeping...I hear.
If you still have that chance, ignite your reading or start. Its not too late.

PS: FaceBOOK doesn't count. Thanks.

6. Can you afford it?

Weh! I think this is self explanatory. Fuel, set covers, tyres, pimped rims and that service here and there. Ah ah! You know the way they say in Kiswahili "Kuzaa si kazi, kulea ndio kazi"? I think this applies to buying a car as well. Kulea hiyo gari inaweza kuwa tricky!! So have a real think about it.

7. If you are married, ladies, you might be in trouble that your man knows his car more than he does you :D

7. You get to have a blog called "My Matatu Chronicles"

Well, this one's already taken. I don't want no competition. Okay I'm kidding. I actually enjoy this. I don't know why. I was having a think on why I do it but as one friend puts it, "ni talanta...si gift."I just see things differently in matatus. Some I keep to myself, others I share here. Aren't you glad though? haha!


I know having a personal car can be real convenient, but it can be a real pain too! So before you buy that car, I suggest you buy a house :)  OR Buy a matatu, hire a driver and conductor and take a ride in it everyday.

I need to run and watch camels race. I'll tell you about it sometime...but for now, can you think of anything else to add to this list?

6 things to learn from a tout in Kenya

Touts can be a real pain. Some have frustrated me more than I care to talk about, but here's the sunny side; there are lessons, positive ones we can learn from them...


1. Optimism/ Seeing the bigger picture

Have you ever gone to a matatu terminus looking to get to your destination as fast as possible? You look around at the busses to see which one is almost full and board it. Sometimes though, you have to rely on the conductor's word. Ever noticed how the bus or mat always needs only one to four people to get full? "Wanne Karen, wanne siste! Gari ya haraka!"You get in, flag down the disappointment of seeing an almost empty vehicle and just sit down when the other passengers give you that face..."Woiye we've been waiting like forever...kaa tu ijae" Shock on you when the 'hired passengers' alight when the bus is almost full! Sigh!

Lesson: Maybe they are just a plain lying lot, lol! But these touts always see the bigger picture even if the situation seems hopeless. As they say, "Haba na haba hujaza kibaba" You will soon jaza gari and be on your way :)

2. #FinanceThings

 Hehe, I'm sure these guys handle a whole load of money everyday. At the end of the day, they need to have fuelled the vehicle, remitted the owner his share and finally pay the driver and of course himself. To achieve these targets, he must charge the correct fare (leave those thieving ones who charge double on seeing a drop of rain), complete the squads required and keep his pockets under lock and key. Hakuna gari ya 10 bob by the way...and they accept nothing less than what is 'theirs'. Best bet you'll be thrown out. Some of these altercations have of course ended tragically and should never be encouraged.

Lesson: Same way touts don't accept 10 sweets in exchange for money. Don't accept it at the supermarket! know your rights! Oh, and be a good manager of your finances.

3. Persistence

What? The number of words these lads say per minute multiplied by the almost 24 hours they work, is impressive! And all this just to convince you to get into their vehicle. They need to earn that wage at the end of the day after all. All you'll need to succeed in this job is super strong vocal cords, bottles of water and a hand made of steel...to hit that side of the bus seriously.

Lesson: No, the lesson here is not to keep shouting. Wait, actually it is! Metaphorically, that is. Whatever your line of work, it definitely needs proper attention. Furnish yourself with whatever tools you need to succeed (super strong vocal cords, bottles of water and a hand made of steel), and then work. Work very hard! Work smart. It won't be long before you see the results.

4. Know the route

Ever met a tout who doesn't know the different stops by name? No. OK, unless its a newbie. But newbies are always accompanied by an oldie/veteran. When going somewhere new, you always ask the conductor if they'll pass this route and if the bus stops at a certain place. They know where they are going. In case of a traffic jam or any other inconvenience, you always hear the tout telling the driver to change the route. Eh, but these tu panya routes are almost always very bumpy you might end up with a broken back or a sore head from hitting the roof every time there is contact with a pothole!

Lesson: Be clear about your life goals and which stops you'll probably make along the way. Sometimes, things happen and you have to take detour. Have a back up plan somewhere. You'll need it. Oh, and as a bonus, si you just mentor someone bila chuki? It adds to your knowledge and grasp of work.

5. Know and have a good working relationship with your colleagues.

The driver and conductor gel like....I don't know. What do people jell like? In short, they get along, and even when they don't, it never gets in the way of work-at least not that I have seen. Ma domez baadaye! 

Lesson: Try and get along with your colleagues, you spend half of your day with them anyway. Never let #workbeefs get in the way of your productivity.

6. Fitness is Key

I'm sure you are wondering what this is all about. Have you ever encountered a fat  oversize tout? Here's why they need to be fit:

a) That superman thing they do when they run on the tarmac and then 'fly' while holding onto that bar at the door. SMH!
b) Most of the matatu aisles are not very wide...leaving very little room to maneuver while collecting bus fare. I'll just stop here with this one.
c) #Kanjothings. Your feet will heal you (mguu niponye). 
d) Them times when you have had to share the 14th seat with him/her because you are running late. A fat  one would push you until you sit on air.
...and many others.

Lesson: Take care of yourself. Usijiachilie. Fullstop.

TO BE CONTINUED...