How CindeLaura Lost Her Shoe

Words: Chebet Birir

My journey from Eldoret to Nairobi begins at around 5pm. Being the last minuter that I am, I had spent the better part of the day running errands that should have been done earlier. So a night trip it is.

At the Northrift booking office, the booking officer is engaging me in conversation.

"Madam nikumbushe jina yako tafadhali."

In my head I am wondering why this guy is pretending to know me yet I have never ever seen him before. Heniwei, I tell him my name is Laura. Dude starts spelling out my name as he writes it down like  “ELO-OH-ARA”

Me: No no no…it’s L,A,U,R….

Booking Officer: Ooh madam! si ungesema ni LAAAURA si LORA.

I might have looked okay but deep down I had shot this guy dead. How can he pretend to know me and yet he can’t even spell my name? Na pia sipendi kuitwa madam! Why do they like calling people madam?

Me:Hapana vile inaandikwa sio vile inasemwa. Anyway, umenipea seat gani?

Him: (weirdly) “Number one madam.”
I laugh because I have no idea why this guy is whispering.

Me: Sawa nipe change basi (I had given him a thousand bob and the fare was 800 bob). It was that simple for me. I mean narudishiwa 200 bob tu. That was until Mr booking officer complicated things.

Booking officer: (Talking to a young guy who standing next to me the whole time. I later discover that he is also waiting for his change). Kijana uko na mia nipee huyu madam change?

The kijana:Hapana boss, sina.

Booking Officer: Haiya madam (at this rate enye naitwa ‘madam’ I want to remind him my name but again I can’t risk being called LAAAAURA! Let me just bitterly embrace the name ‘madam’). Sasa hata naona mnakaa na dereva pamoja pale mbele. Chukua hii mia tano madam, halafu umpee mia.

He has lost me. Ashanipoteza. Me and anything to do with numbers is kaput! Anyway, nilihesabu vidole vya miguu na mikono na vya jirani ikafika 200, nikampa hiyo 200 but I still was not sure that it was the right change!

We begin the journey and the guy tries to engage me in some small talk

“So uko Moi Uni ama?”
“Hapana,mi ni mmama nilimaliza shule kitaaaambo”
“Ooh,mimi niko fourth year Moi Uni..."

Sisi hao tukapita RUPA’s Mall, halafu Cheptiret. I then remembered I have earphones, nikaweka music and closed my eyes to avoid further conversations and awkward moments. Kidogo kidogo nashtukia gari imesimama na hatujafika Nakuru stop over (if you have used Northrift before then you know Nakubreeze).
Kumbe the guy told the driver to stop because he is feeling nauseous. He taps me and says “Excuse me kidogo nishuke, sifeel poa.” Me I panic and jump out of the car because he might throw up on me.

I don’t even get time to put my shoes on (Mi hutoa viatu nikitravel because my usually swollen foot swells even more when I sit for long hours, mpaka the shoe can’t fit).

The guy comes back and I ask him if he is okay and he says yes. I tell him sorry and go back to my music.
As we approach Nakuru I know we are going to stopover for a few minutes so I start looking for my shoes.

GHAFLA BIN VU! Punde si punde! I can’t find my other shoe!Je ne trouve pas ma chaussure! Maagere kweiyot nyuu!

I am panicking! The driver and the guy try looking for it in vain. Everyone in the shuttle now knows nimepoteza kiatu, so they are all trying to figure out how that could have happened. We conclude that it must have fallen off when I jumped out for the guy to go puke.

Guy: “Oh no! That’s my fault! Ayam sorry.”
Me:No worries. I hope wanauza sandals kwa shop. I will just buy new ones.

It then dawns on me that it’s past 9pm and all shops are closed except the restaurant.
In my head I am thinking vile,

1. Nitatembea Nairobi town bila viatu at 1 am (Hii sasa ni walk of shame ama wendawazimu)?

2. I don’t have any extra cash on me. I am totally confused right now.

I decide to call my friend nimwambie shida zangu kama kawaida. Before I even finish dialling the number, someone taps my shoulder.

"Sasa? Nasikia umepoteza kiatu?”
“Eeh but haina shida (Issa lie)."
“Hapana I have an extra pair of sandals here. Wacha nikupe kama gift.”
What? No way! I honestly did not expect that, so I ask how much I should pay her and she’s like “Nooo…Like I said nakupea kama gift, so do not pay anything. I hope they fit.” I take the sandals and put them on. Not quite my size but bora mguu iliingia kwa sandals.

There's more! Imagine the guy bought me chocolate as an apology for making me lose my shoe. I am not really a chocolate person but you should have seen the smile on my face, lol! The driver told me he will look for the shoe when he goes back to Eldoret(not sure if this was a consolation or a diss because nobody would have stolen that shoe, that shoe was 3 years old)! I was kind of attached to it though. I mean we all have that one pair of shoe that you could wear everyday, no? Okay we are different, so nisiskie mtu akisema ati ooh the sandals you were given were better than those shoes you had,ati ooh you were mistreating your shoe! Hiyo kiatu ilikua tu sawa!

Moral of this long winding story? People are still nice and humanity still exists!