Hi!
Have you ever been to Ndenderu?
Hold that thought…
Did you know that a lot of people would rather get
lost in Nairobi than ask for directions? To stay safe in the capital you must
assume you are the only good person on these streets. That woiye looking old
mama asking to use your phone is working in cahoots with some thieves who will
steal your phone then get you beaten to a pulp if you fall for their trick.
That person you ask for directions may point you to a dark alley and proceed to
relieve you of the little wealth you have amassed in Nairobi, the city under
the sun.
There are of course exceptions. There are people who
will even offer to take you to your desired location. Free of charge! They will
not ask for chai or worse, look at you with those eyes of “even you don’t feel
shame on me leaving me empty?”
I just felt I should say the above. It may or may
not have something to do with this week’s post.
Me I don’t know Nairobi. I am not the kind of person
you call to show you this city. It is too big for me. I have been here for nine
years now and I just go where I need to go and back to my humble abode. The
only person I have defeated with my knowledge of this maze is a foreigner. So
you can imagine my surprise the other day when I found out that one can access
Ruaka from Kiambu road with a matatu. Mi kitambo I would just go all the way to
Ngara and get a mat there. My comber friend told me that I just tell the
conductor to drop me at Ruaka stage.
Haya. Si I get into the 14-seater. Of course my legs
don’t fit on their designated space. Halafu, they are carrying excess, so I
can’t even use the space next to me for relief. Anyway, I was told it won’t be
long before I alight. I sat back and waited to see my landmark for Ruaka,
QuickMart Supermarket. It doesn’t appear so me I am like hatujafika. Kidogo
kidogo the matatu stops and people alight. Total Ruaka is the stage. Hmmm. I do
not remember seeing this before. Anyway, I haven’t seen Quickmart so I lean
back.
I am carrying a crate of eggs and frozen chicken for
my friend. The chicken is there sweating sweating and making me feel
uncomfortable. I hope we get there soon jamani.
We spend about five long minutes at total calling
for passengers who might be headed to or towards Ndenderu. They were not many,
so we continue with our journey. I had paid 20 bob for this trip and I was
like, eh! This friend has saved for me at least 30 bob. Bless her. But now, I
start getting worried. My Quickmart is nowhere to be seen. My eyes are just
beholding mountains of soil at the side of the road. Eh. Where did the fruit and
vegetables guys go na vile they dot the streets of Ruaka the way the corona red
dots populate the map of the world? As in they are usually many!
There must be an explanation for this, I thought.
At some point, the car cuts a corner and my
esophagus panics. Maybe it was me wondering how 20 bob can take one so far in these
times of rona. Plus, aiii? Ruaka can’t have changed overnight like this. Manze
the weather has even changed. The kamageras, those helping the kanges call for
customers are now of full Kikuyu mode. Wololo! Iko shida. When the matatu comes
to a halt and more people alight, I call the conductor and ask him, “Si ulisema
unaingia Ruaka?”
The look on the guy’s face just told me I had messed
up. Remember that Total Ruaka where we stood for 60 minutes? Well. That was my
stop. My frens! I am in Ndenderu and environs! Mr. man tells me to just cross
the road and hail a matatu heading to Ruaka. “Ni mob! And they will just charge
you 20 bob.” I step out and the Kiambu road mud kisses Ndenderu mud. I would like to say it was love at first sight, but I was not paying attention. My eyes are now
seeing a big sign written ‘Ndenderu.’
I cross the road and soon enough another 14 seater
comes. He! Kwani people of Ndenderu got the rona vaccine and we don’t know?
Social distancing is a myth. We have been packed paki – like biscuits. Selected
few have masks. The chicken is still sweating and the eggs are nodding to every
bump in acknowledgement. The conductor is talking about how so many businessmen
have lost premises due to the ongoing road works. Well, I assume that’s what he
is saying because he is pointing at the buildings marked ‘X’ and shaking his
head too. The woman next to him humors him and the conversation continues. The
driver and I both have our eyes on the road for very different reasons. I am
not about to get lost again.
You can’t imagine the laugh my host let out when I
told her the story. Sigh. Some people can’t even see you are carrying goodies
and you can just decide to go back with them.
Also,
Ndenderu people you must do better. How is it that the first image on Googling
Ndenderu is one of women raiding bars over illicit brews? Kwanza that’s the
profile pic Google has given you. Makosa.
Matatu Methali of the Day: Kama hutaki kukalia kiti
cha nyuma basi ng’oa uweke mbele.
Hahahahaha. Pole.
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